Captain James T. Kirk and Arthur “Fonzie” Fonzarelli are both transported to a planet populated entirely by beautiful women. (Since that describes half the planets Kirk visited, it isn’t really necessary to describe it further.) They are ordered to fight to the death, to the accompaniment of Star Trek fight music. They can hide from each other, use any weapons and, of course, prevail upon their girlfriends of the week to save them.
Who will win the fight between Kirk, the iconic TV hero and inexplicable babe-magnet of the ’60s, and Fonzie, the iconic TV hero and inexplicable babe-magnet of the ’70s?
I’m going for Fonzie as he simply has the kind of powers that Kirk cannot overcome. His confrontation with Mork (back when Mork was much more powerful than he was on his own series) showed him to be one of the most all-powerful beings in the universe. When Kirk goes up against someone like that, he usually is on the brink of losing until the creature’s father shows up and gets him. But Fonzie has no father. So Kirk’s screwed.
Besides, Fonzie’s nemesis was named Officer Kirk. And Fonzie always beat him. Coincidence?
On the other hand, it’s been pointed out that if Kirk’s shirt gets ripped, he becomes essentially invincible. And it could be argued that Kirk’s track record with women is superior to Fonzie’s, since Fonzie usually gets non-speaking extras while Kirk scores with full-fledged guest stars like Angelique Pettyjohn or Marianna Hill