In a surprising move, the academy has already nominated Bill Belichick’s, “Spygate” as Movie of the Year.
The New England Patriot’s front office was obviously elated by the news and released a statement to the AP. “2007 was a banner year for scandal, none of which was a bigger scandal than Balco, baseball, and barry bonds. We are so happy that Bill’s filming of every team’s defense has led to so many Super Bowls and an undefeated regular season. It is a joke to think that even if Belichick got caught cheating, that such minutia would mar an other wise perfect season. We gladly accept trophies, and winning film of the year in 2008 is no different, thank you to our fans, friends, the academy, and all the muscle that made a superbowl victory in 2008 that much more special.
“This is the first time that an unfinished film has been granted a decision, albeit a unanimous one so early in the year. Some protest come against this call, in what many insiders are calling against, “physics.” and “rules of the game.”
Cloverfield director, J.J. Abrams, is reported as saying, “I’m stunned, the identity of my villain, in my next project wasn’t even outed yet, it’s almost as if this were rigged, and if so, this is an outrage.”
J.J Abrams has not been able to be reached since two NFL sized men wearing dark glasses, trench coats, and cleats were seen banging on Mr. Abrams door shortly after his comments aired on cable’s Talk Soup. No quotes were retrieved as neighbors were told to return to their houses unless they wanted to know that identity of Abrams villain, and the unimaginable that could happen to them.
The AP has since contacted other sources to substantiate the AP’s integrity, such as Millwaukee Brewers baseball player, J.J. Hardy. He is quoted as calling the academy’s decision, “More David Stern and his Republican Bull-<expletive>!”
Other Academy categories are still not being released until after the Super Bowl is played, and the film is completed in time for November’s Fat Tuesday and a ” surprise presidential candidate”. Analysts at the Dow Jones Corporation have forecasted the surprise contender as “the ultimate Patriot” code named, “Man-i-churiate” at the AP, and “The Payback Kid” for those in the Republican party perhaps miffed at new EPA regulations brought on by the Academy’s decision to award former presidential elect, Al Gore, “That dum*** with f***ing anything.